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41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death

the good place pullquote

The Good Place is among the most clever sitcoms of current years.

The fantasy-comedy (a few lady who mistakenly winds up in a heavenly afterlife designed for less than probably the most morally sound individuals on Earth) has persistently delivered imaginative situations, witty writing and laugh-out-loud humour since its 2016 debut.

Three seasons in – and with a fourth now on the best way – we thought it will be a forking good time to rejoice a few of the present’s greatest quotes on life and dying.


“The purpose is, you’re cool, dope, recent, and smart-brained. I’ve by no means seen you dance, however I guess you’re good, trigger you’re good at every little thing. You’re superior! Be nicer to your self.”

“I can’t consider Michael betrayed us once more, why is it all the time those you most anticipate?”

“Once I say I’m meditating, I’m simply making an attempt to determine what the fork is occurring.”

“Everybody right here thinks I’m Taiwanese. I’m Filipino. That’s racist. Heaven is so racist.”

“You already know, it doesn’t matter if you already know issues. All that issues is what’s in your coronary heart.”

“I’m rating my favorite Quick and the Livid films. You stated you needed to know who I’m, and that is one of the simplest ways to get to know me.”

“I wasn’t a failed DJ. I used to be pre-successful.”

“I’m too younger to die and too previous to eat off the youngsters’ menu. What a silly age I’m.”

(Photograph: NBC)


“In case you have been questioning, I’m, by definition, the most effective model of myself.”

“It seems one of the best Janet was the Janet that was inside Janet all alongside.”


“I might say I outdid myself, however I’m all the time this good. So I merely did myself.”

“You understand, typically a flaw could make one thing much more lovely. Like with Cindy Crawford and the way brief she is.”

“I’m going to inform you a similar factor that I advised Mark Zuckerberg proper earlier than he ousted Eduardo Saverin. You’re sensible, you’re succesful, and the time has come to hit ‘unfriend’. I additionally advised Mark to lose the ‘the’. Simply ‘Fb.’ That was me.”

“I’m not used to dressing like a plumberess. Is that what you name a feminine plumber or is a rest room sweep or, or clog wench?”

the good place pullquote(Photograph: NBC)

“She could also be some demonic torturer from the netherworld, however does she have style? Sophistication? An encyclopedic information of conventional and avant-garde Belgian floral design?”

“We don’t make any sense collectively, and but, once I’m with you, I can actually let my hair down, metaphorically talking in fact, as a result of I’d by no means have it up within the first place. I’m not a manufacturing unit employee.”

“Nobody can ever really flip over a brand new leaf. Positive, Ben Affleck informed me he’d matured as an artist after he directed Argo, however then, proper on schedule, it was, ‘Guess what, Tahani, I’m gonna be Batman.’”


“Rules aren’t rules if you decide and select if you’re gonna comply with them.”

“I argue that we select to be good due to our bonds with different individuals and our innate want to deal with them with dignity. Merely put, we aren’t on this alone.”

“If this isn’t a check, then it’s one thing means worse: A selection! That we now have to make!”

the good place pullquote(Photograph: NBC)

“You realize the sound a fork makes within the rubbish disposal? That’s the sound my mind makes. On a regular basis. It’s simply the fixed grinding about issues that I’m afraid of or issues that I would like or need to need, or need to need to need.”


“It’s a uncommon prevalence, like a double rainbow. Or like somebody on the web saying, ‘You understand what? You’ve satisfied me I used to be improper’.”

“Anywhere or factor within the universe could be as much as 104% good. That’s how you bought Beyoncé.”

“Lies are all the time extra convincing once they’re nearer to the reality.”

“Now we’re going to do probably the most human factor of all: try one thing futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!”

“Looking for which means is philosophical suicide. How does anybody do something if you perceive the fleeting nature of existence?”

the good place pullquote(Photograph: NBC)

“You people take one thing fantastic and break it just a bit bit so you’ll be able to have extra.”

“I’ve been engaged on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Inform me what you assume. ‘That New Yorker article was loopy. You haven’t seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?’”

“I studied the human idea of pals. I even watched all ten seasons of the present Pals. Boy, these buddies actually have been ‘associates’, weren’t they? Though – and I realise that is the sort of remark that may solely happen to the thoughts of an everlasting being. How did they afford that condo? A waitress and a chef with these Manhattan actual property costs.”

“Howdy, everybody. Good to see you all right here, mingling round together with your numerous secrets and techniques. Who actually is aware of which of you’re who you say you’re? No method to know until I pull your skeletons out, proper?”

“Within the phrases of one among my precise buddies: ‘Ya primary’. It’s a human insult. It’s devastating. You’re devastated proper now.”

the good place pullquote(Photograph: NBC)


“I’ve solely ever stated ‘I really like you’ to 2 males my complete life, Stone Chilly Steve Austin and a man in a darkish membership who I mistook for Stone Chilly Steve Austin.”

“You wrote four,000 pages on some of the difficult topics on the earth. I imply I used to get bored midway by means of writing a textual content message. Be proud.”

“I won’t have been a saint, however it’s not like I killed anyone. I wasn’t an arsonist. I by no means discovered a pockets outdoors of an IHOP and considered returning it however noticed the proprietor lived out of state so simply took the money and dropped the pockets again on the bottom.”

“Once I informed a boyfriend one thing was ‘no huge deal,’ it meant something from ‘I simply purchased weed out of your nephew,’ to ‘I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend final yr, issues obtained out of hand, and now I’m her bridesmaid.’”

Learn extra: The Good Place is the perfect sitcom of the previous decade, however I’m nervous about season three

“Kant would say that mendacity in any state of affairs is flawed. Then again, snitches do get stitches.”

“Ugh, I hate jazz. Each jazz track is like 40 minutes lengthy. It’s like, we get it. You possibly can blow on a trumpet. Wrap it up, Elton John.”

“Why do dangerous issues all the time occur to mediocre people who find themselves mendacity about their identities?”

“Should you attempt to ignore your unhappiness, it simply finally ends up leaking out of you anyway. I’ve been there. And everyone’s been there. So don’t struggle it. Within the phrases of a really clever Mattress, Tub, and Past worker I as soon as knew, ‘Go forward and cry all you need. However you’re going to should pay for that rest room plunger.’”

“Every time I might do one thing crappy on Earth, there can be just a little tiny voice behind my head that may say, ‘Eleanor, don’t seize that handful of olives from the salad bar. You recognize, you didn’t pay for that,’ or ‘Eleanor, don’t spit these olive pits onto the ground of the grocery retailer. That’s not cool.’ Or ‘Eleanor, that previous man simply slipped in your olive pit, and he fell down. Don’t use the truth that everybody’s distracted to return and steal extra olives.’”

“Pobody’s nerfect.”

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